Take it All Apart
by zombie josette
Summary: It's strange to hear a statement of surrender from her. At least, that's how Vicki takes it. How she has to take it. The last thing she can think of is the fact that Julia might use this to her advantage of any sort, to manipulate her, to ruin the happiness that she's only just managed to realize tonight. One-shot. Explicit, etc.


It's when Julia stands up straight and practically saunters away from her that Victoria knows she's been tricked. It had been too easy to be led down here: a bit of seemingly-drunken teetering from the doctor as she headed toward the stairs had her worrying, and she was quick to help her. Victoria had expected to unceremoniously dump her on the couch before heading back upstairs to the party that was drawing to a close upstairs - she could hear the door opening and shutting in quick succession, and the cheery goodbyes of the guests and members of the family.

"If - you're going to be alright now…" Victoria trails off, eyes darting to the stairs which they've just walked down. To her right, she hears nothing but the faint sound of a zipper being pulled and the clinking of a glass.

"Hang on," is the somewhat muffled reply she gets. And Vicki doesn't _want_to leave her - not until she knows it's alright. She can't trust doctors, and this is a mild situation to what she's used to, but the memories of dark nights alone in her "room" creep in, and she roots herself to the floor of Julia's apartment. Tenuously. She begins to rock back and forth on her heels as she wrings her hands and looks almost longingly at the staircase. Is Barnabas worrying? She'd been so abrupt -

Julia comes waltzing back through, barefoot, clad only in her slip and with a directness that proves to Victoria that any intoxication had been a fabrication. It makes her close her eyes for fear of rolling them and revealing her aggravation. Instead, she opens her mouth to speak, to bid her goodnight, but then Julia's practically shoving a glass of some kind of amber liquid in her face.

Victoria shakes her head. "I'm fine." There's a pause in which Julia shrugs, taking the glass for herself, and once again Vicki tries to use it to make her escape. She's interrupted when Julia waves a hand. The gesture is just vague enough that it takes a moment for Vicki to decode it: a motion to sit down on the couch. When Vicki hesitates, Julia makes her way over to the chair across from it, taking a seat and crossing her legs at the knee.

"I have a few questions I'd like to ask you, Vicki."

Vicki just stands there, fingers clasped together, face falling into a frown, eyes going even wider. She swallows hard, keeps her breathing measured and slowly, slowly perches herself on the very edge of the couch. She knows the consequences of not answering Julia: she'll just become more suspicious, but she can't help but feel trapped, as though the floor above her is slowly starting to lower itself upon her.

"You didn't actually need my help walking down the stairs." Vicki says it matter-of-factly. If Julia is preparing any number of intrusive questions - no doubt regarding her midnight hallway stroll previously - she doesn't think anything of making some accusations of her own.

And from the way Julia shrugs nonchalantly, sipping at her drink, they're in agreement. Julia says, "You made it quite clear you weren't gonna come here on your own."

Somehow, the trickery seems all the worse. Vicki looks down to her lap for a split second to regain her composure, to regain her control over the situation. "What makes you think I'll cooperate?"

"That part's entirely up to you." Another shrug, but this time, Julia puts her glass on the table next to her. "Worth a shot. If it helps, it's not like this is formal or professional. We're just talking."

"Just talking." Victoria smiles bitterly and shakes her head.

"Of course. And I'm asking you what scared the shit out of you the other night. We're talking about it."

"I told you I couldn't sleep." Instinctively, Vicki's shoulders square and her chin raises and she's all steel and invincible. Julia doesn't budge, eyes continuing to meet hers.

"You did," Julia says, nodding. "I hope you didn't expect me to believe that. Not with all the strange - for a_desperate_lack of a better word - things happening lately."

There's a rush of blood to Vicki's face and she can hear it in her head - roaring like the ocean outside crashing onto the rocks. She imagines it crashing through Julia's windows, through the walls, filling the room until they're completely submerged and the ceiling is still lowering. She can't breathe through it all.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she manages to say, labored.  
Julia leans forward slightly, letting her arms dangle off the armrest. She peers at Vicki, and she feels invaded - as though everything is written on her face, as though Josette is sitting right next to her, and for once, Vicki can't see her. But Julia only says, "Fine. Let me ask you a different question."

Julia doesn't even have to ask the new question; the change of topic is enough to give Vicki the strength to wade through the imaginary water, to find a small pocket of air at the surface, to gasp and finally breathe again.

"Go ahead."

"What, exactly, do you see in Barnabas?"

Vicki blushes again, though this time for an entirely different reason, and a smile forces its way onto her mouth even as she tries to suppress it. "I've never met anyone like him," she admits honestly. "But how did you -"

Julia rolls her eyes, reaching for - grabbing at, even - her drink on the table. "Please. Next time you want to shove your tongues down each others' throats in secret, don't do it by a window where anyone can see."

Vicki looks away, and she thinks she feels her heart skip a beat in her chest. She hadn't even thought -

"Did you see him that night?"

"What?" Vicki looks up, brow furrowing.

"That night in the hallway," Julia elaborates. "Did you see him?"

"What does this have to do with -"

"Just answer the question," Julia snaps. "You saw him that night, didn't you? Or you thought you did. Heard him, maybe."

Vicki stares, completely dumbstruck, and grinds her teeth to keep her jaw from dropping. The question made no sense. Again, she says, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Julia holds her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, but then breaks it, and Vicki frowns as she watches the doctor reach into her slip and pull out a small, round pendant. It's attached to a chain that Vicki hadn't bothered to take notice of before. Scooting forward, Julia now sits on the edge of her own chair, her arm extending in front of her. The chain hangs between her thumb and forefinger.

Instinct grabs Vicki and pulls her back, away from the pendant. She breaths, "What are you doing," although she already knows. Stokes - the kind doctor at Windcliffe - he tried this. Hypnotism. At the time, she'd been young, and only happy that it wasn't electroshock therapy, but no one had expected the results to be all the more terrifying.

"I just want you to look at this pendant, Vicki," Julia says, keeping her voice low, and slowly, the pendant begins to swing under her hand. She tells her to relax - vague, comforting things that Vicki has heard time and time again. She can't help her eyes from following the pendant although inwardly she's screaming. She grips the edge of the couch, suddenly no older than twelve and overhearing stories of the leap she tried to take from the window while under Stokes' hypnosis. She can hear the ocean again, can feel herself drift backward, has to pull herself back with the couch, holding onto it like a lifeline.

She still hasn't let go when she finally feels herself shaking. She feels Julia's hands on her shoulders before she sees Julia herself, staring, confused. Disturbed, almost.

"If I'd known you'd be violent, I wouldn't've even tried," she mumbles, and satisfied that Victoria was awake again, walks across the room and kneels, picking up the chain over near the wall. Had Victoria thrown it? She doesn't know; she's too focused on regaining her breath, stopping the falling sensation, ignoring the flickering blue form she swears she can see out of the corner of her eye. No, she will not willingly let Josette be her undoing. Not tonight.

Her eyes stay focused on the leg of the table, the point directly in front of her, and as Julia crosses the room again, she stops in front of her. She says something that Victoria doesn't hear, and then she's dropping the chain on the table and walking to a cabinet. She comes back with a little orange bottle and takes Vicki's hand - limp and clammy now - and empties two pills into it. The feeling jolts Victoria back to reality. Shoulders heaving, she stares up at Julia and the image is blurry. She blinks, trying to clear her eyes.

"Sedatives," Julia explains. "They'll calm you down like _that_," and to demonstrate, the doctor snaps her fingers, a small smile playing on her lips. In any other case, it would not have helped; Victoria still would have felt unsettled. But the chill throughout her is not subsiding, and she still feels that if she moves, she'll fall, so she practically throws the pills into her mouth - it's only after that that she realizes she has nothing to wash them down with. Julia smoothly reaches behind her to grab her drink and holds it out to Victoria. Perhaps not the smartest, but Victoria takes it anyway, drinking as little as will do. Her finger rests right below a bright lipstick smear, and Vicki is quick to hand the glass back to Julia, who pauses before downing the rest. She discards it on the table and takes a seat next to Vicki.

Victoria thinks she feels her breathing finally calming, though she cannot tell whether it is due to the her own will or the pills, or even Julia's arm that is now tight around her shoulders. When she speaks, her voice is warm and close to Victoria's ear. "I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what the hell that was. No one's ever reacted like that."

Vicki could only shake her head violently, already feeling her mind try to counteract the sedatives and send her reeling again. She squints her eyes shut in an effort to fight it. Next to her, she can hear an intake of breath, as though Julia is going to speak again, but she apparently decides against it. It's only when Victoria opens her eyes again that she says, "You can go back upstairs. I'm not stopping you."

Vicki tilts her head to peer at Julia. It's strange to hear a statement of surrender from her. At least, that's how Vicki takes it. How she has to take it. The last thing she can think of is the fact that Julia might use this to her advantage of any sort, to manipulate her, to ruin the happiness that she's only just managed to realize tonight. Unaware, Vicki's hand creeps up to Julia's to squeeze it, to stop her from the actions that she didn't even know would be taken.

"I'll be fine," Vicki says. It comes out as a sigh. "I just - I need a minute."

Julia slowly shakes her head. "Take as many as you like."

Vicki feels Julia's hand move under hers, and a second later, their fingers are entwined. Vicki makes no move to withdraw her hand; if anything, the gesture's more of a comfort, and she finds herself leaning against Julia. It's another strange feeling - that of physical comfort. In Windcliffe, after treatment, there had been no one but Josette there. And the sight of Josette both comforted and plagued her, but they could never talk. Josette was never able to hold her like this. Victoria hadn't been able to lean against Josette's shoulder as she does Julia's. And Josette was unable to freeze beneath her before relaxing, before brushing a finger down Victoria's cheek. It sends another kind of chill through her, a different one, and she can still feel a trail of prickles as she sits up. Julia is staring at her, and neither speak. It's an inexplicable feeling: the need to be closer to her, ever so much closer, to amply the feelings that a mere touch of hands brings her.

Victoria looks away, eyes closing again as she tries to slow the rapid beating in her chest. Julia does not let go of her hand, peering over at the governess, who forces herself to sit up straight. It brings her a few inches above Julia, just enough to bring her more control. Control she'd had with Barnabas outside, but suddenly fails her here. The suffocating feeling returns, the illusion of the ceiling closing in, giving her a reason to count down, a limited window of opportunity to -

She kisses Julia desperately, seeking to somehow relieve the sense of danger she's created for herself. Their hands untangle and Victoria's make their way up Julia's arms to her shoulders. She feels the doctor lean into it, feels her press herself against Victoria - and then she pulls away. Victoria's desperation persists, and she clings to her, pressing her palms into her shoulders. She can't leave - she can't stop this - not yet - not when Victoria is only just realizing what it's like to have someone there.

"Please," Vicki gasps, and Julia's skin feels warm under her hands. Julia studies her, eyes scanning, as though working a problem through in her head, figuring out a course of action. Wondering she has the right answer. Vicki waits, meeting her gaze, though she has to wonder what other answer there could be. They stay like that for what feels like too long, and then Vicki's inching forward again. But then there's force on her shoulders and she isn't looking at Julia but up at the ceiling as the cushions of the couch collide with her back. She's breathless for a moment - not from the force, but from surprise. Julia doesn't give her a chance to recover before she's on top of her, the strap of her slip sliding down over her shoulder, their legs entwining as best they can through Vicki's long dress. Vicki has her arms thrown around her shoulders, one hand entangled in Julia's vivid orange hair, and she's kissing her again, open-mouthed and needy. The hand on Julia's back finds its way down her slip, and she's scratching at the bare skin of her back. It gets her a soft noise and a bite of her lip in return, which makes Vicki break the kiss with another gasp. And there's the first moment of hesitance: she's heard things, read things since she's been out of Windcliffe. The schooling she's had in the institution has taught her the basics, but everything now seems so, so, _so_different. The hand on Julia's back freezes and she wonders if she fooling her at all, or if she can unveil this, too, as a fraud. Imagine, her whole identity unraveling as a fake because of _this._

"What?" Julia asks. Vicki can feel her hands on her hips through the skirt of her dress.

Vicki only shakes her head. "Nothing." And then a sly smile crosses her. "Is this how you treat everyone who pays a visit to your office?"

"We're just talking, remember?" Julia quirks an eyebrow, and Vicki can't help but roll her eyes and laugh at everything that tonight has become.

"Right," she mumbles, but if Julia hears her, she makes no response. Julia's made her way to Victoria's neck, teeth grazing the skin there but never making full contact. Vicki's dress feels restricting, the bow around her waist tied too tightly, restricting her breathing. In spite of herself, she arches up in a vain attempt to get away from it. Julia only looks up at her, and Vicki swears she can feel her smirk against her skin. Somehow, Julia's hand snakes its way up her back and pulls down the zipper of her dress. Vicki's quick to shove it off of her shoulders and kick it from her feet, periwinkle satin and blue lace landing in a pile on the floor by the couch. Julia's sitting up, straddling her, and Vicki's frightened at how much she misses the contact on her neck, but then Julia is hiking her slip up around her hips and grinds down against her and Vicki is at a complete loss to describe it. She doesn't hear the noise she makes, only feels her eyes open wider and the skin of Julia's legs as she moves her hands up them. Julia smirks above her and doesn't push against her again, even as Vicki arches her hips toward her, grabbing onto Julia's sides. Her hands move under the slip and onto the skin of her hips, words still failing her. She thinks she hears herself _whine_, of all things, and her face turns red for it, but _Julia's_ the one who did this to her. _Julia's_the one who makes her voice her demands, makes her feel this sense of urgency. Julia knows it. Victoria can tell.

She leans forward, over Vicki, and leaves a kiss on her lips. Too chaste, too formal, and Vicki tries to pull her back to no avail. She only continues to hold herself above Vicki, _just_ pressed against her, and Vicki is _so_close to begging her for the movement and the friction. Everything's gotten more frantic, the desperation increasing tenfold if possible, just for someone she can touch and feel and -

Julia's fingers easily tuck themselves under the waistband of Victoria's underwear, and she's all too eager to raise herself up to let her slide them off. They join her party dress on the ground below and Vicki's expecting Julia to move atop her again. This time, Julia kneels in between her knees. She keeps eye contact with Victoria as she brushes a single finger against her center. Victoria jolts, covering her mouth to keep herself from crying out. Julia's laughing now, gently and slowly moving her fingers just outside as she leans over for access to Victoria's ear, whispering the most awful things, questions that she can't quite answer as she's forgotten how to do anything but feel.

"You ever done this to yourself before?" is one of the questions, and the only one that fully registers in Victoria's mind. She shakes her head no, there'd never been any _time_, she was always afraid there'd be_someone -_

Just as Victoria makes to wrap an arm around Julia's shoulders, Julia is gone, making her way down Victoria's nearly unclothed body, finally coming to a rest between her legs. All at once, her tongue replaces where her hand had been, pushing further inside. Vicki moans - loud and unexpected. She flushed, and her hips rock gently against Julia's mouth. She looks up, one hand curling under Victoria's leg to hold her still, and Victoria can see the smirk in her eyes. Her heart thunders in her chest, the blush on her cheeks spreading throughout her body as Julia continues, pressing herself in further, lips curling around her clit.

Vicki's back arches, mouth open wide in a silent scream, no noise except for a sharp, sharp intake of breath. Her right hand immediately tangles itself in Julia's hair again, and unsure what to do with the other, she holds it over her mouth. Her whole body is beginning to move, but her eyes fixate on the ceiling. Faintly, she can still hear the guests leaving, the heavy doors opening and closing, the movement of equipment and laughter when it got too loud. To think that moments ago, she could have been back up there, saying goodbye, with them, not with -

There's a sound and a vibration from Julia's mouth that sends Victoria off again. When she looks down, Julia is no longer making eye contact. Instead, her eyes are closed, and for the first time, Victoria notices that she never removed her eye makeup. One arm is still wrapped around her leg, nails digging in, but Vicki doesn't even notice the pain. The other has disappeared. Vicki lets out another involuntary moan when she understands what Julia must be doing to herself. She finally lets her neck rest back against the raised portion of the couch, lets her eyes fall shut, lets her shoulders relax. Lets her breathing become labored and shallow, lets herself feel the warmth growing from within with every stroke of Julia's tongue. And when Julia sucks hard at her again, she lets herself shake. She lets the water bust in from the windows and lets the roaring drown out every conceivable sound she can make, and finally lets it slowly, slowly drain away, leaving her gasping for breath and a hand still in Julia's hair, her other arm dangling over the side of the couch.

Julia has moved, though Victoria doesn't recall feeling her do such. She rests with her head against Vicki's stomach, eyes still shut, lips leaving small kisses against her skin every so often as her hand continues moving between her own legs. Her slip is all askew, barely covering her chest now, and Victoria can't help but watch, stroking through the bright red hair. She lets her hand trail down to the small portion of Julia's back that she can reach, and her nails scratch lightly. Julia swears. Unsure if it was in protest, Vicki stops herself from repeating the motion, but the swears continue to come from Julia's mouth, increasing in profanity and frequency until she can say nothing, her mouth open wide and her body tense, so tense until she relaxes.

And then Vicki doesn't know what to do. She lays there, hand still buried in Julia's hair, unsure how the aftermath could be more challenging than the act itself. Any commotion upstairs has stopped, apart from a few footsteps, and it dawns on her that if she can hear everything so clearly, does the same apply to them?

Julia moves, sitting up, pulling her arm out from beneath Victoria and straightening her slip. It haphazardly slides over her legs, as if she doesn't care - she probably doesn't, and Vicki takes it as her cue to nearly dive off of the couch and reach for her clothes. She pulls them on, arms nearly ripping the seams of her sleeves in her haste, and she turns her back to Julia. She holds the top of her zipper together in a silent request, but really, it's just an excuse to keep from looking Julia in the face. Julia seems to understand. At least, she doesn't protest, and pulls the zipper up Vicki's back. She feels her hands drop behind her, and realizes she's straightening the bow on the back of her waist.

"Thanks," Vicki mumbles. She tries to use her fingers to comb out the back of her hair, having spotted a mirror on the wall.

Julia doesn't respond except to reach over to the table, and the strap of her slip starts to fall from her shoulder again. Vicki tries not to look as the doctor says, "I won't tell Barnabas."

Victoria freezes, head involuntarily turning to look at Julia again. She's gotten a pack of cigarettes that Vicki hadn't noticed were there and is now drawing one out of it. Even if she doesn't want to - not quite yet - everything rushes through her mind in a flash and the conclusion is easy: she doesn't think she can do with Barnabas what she's just done now. Everything is planned, _romantic_, too heartfelt and formal. It's a comfort, yes, and it's nice, but she knows there's something to be said for spontaneity and risks.

"Okay," is all she says.

Slowly, almost methodically, Vicki makes her way back to the couch. Julia is about to close the pack of cigarettes, but she's stopped by Vicki withdrawing one for herself. Vicki smiles, a small one, and reaches behind her to the table to find the lighter before sitting back down with her again.


End file.
